


I Like Friends Who Eat Carrots

by larryscape



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Animal Play, Animals, Blowjobs, Bunnies, Comedy, Domestic, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, M/M, Morning Sex, Sexual Humor, Smut, blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:56:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryscape/pseuds/larryscape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis rolled his eyes before viciously piercing them through Harry's baby-smooth skin. "Harry. Explain," he demanded. </p>
<p>Harry was not listening. Instead, he was having a tickle fight with the two pound rabbit that was curled up in the palm of his hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also known as THE BUNNY FIC, in which Harry goes behind Louis' back and purchases a dozen bunnies, because he's Harry. It results in cute antics and even a blowjob. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Like Friends Who Eat Carrots

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one day, because I'm working on a really long /fic/ fic and had to take a break to get in touch with my roots (writing really weird oneshots).
> 
> Your kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Twitter: @ctmytown  
> Tumblr. http://larryscape.tumblr.com  
> Ask: ask.fm/larryscape
> 
> Stay tuned for my first big grand chaptered fic that takes place in NYC.
> 
> Random thanks to ally, lauren, morgan, lexi, and miranda

Louis woke up with a bunny on his face.

"Good morning, my love," Harry sang from where he sat up next to him.

Unable to respond due to the white fur creeping its way into his mouth, Louis just lied on his back and groaned loudly.

"Pat says good morning too," Harry said through a warm smile as he collected the small pile of fluff into one hand, allowing Louis to sit up and glare at his boyfriend.

He took a moment to spit into the crook of his elbow and wipe his face on the white sheet covering his naked body. "What the hell, Harry," he croaked through the morning grog coating his voice.

Letting his grin fall into a prominent frown, Harry pinched his fingers over the bunny's flopped-over ears. " _Language_ , Louis," he huffed.

Louis rolled his eyes before viciously piercing them through Harry's baby-smooth skin. "Harry. Explain," he demanded.

Harry was not listening. Instead, he was having a tickle fight with the two pound rabbit that was curled up in the palm of his hand.

" _Harry_ ," he snapped, trying not to let the heart-breaking cuteness distract him.

Holding Pat up beside his face so that Louis was greeted with four pleading eyes, Harry curled his lower lip and furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh come on, Lou. You know I've always wanted one," he whined childishly.

Louis' breath hitched, and he could feel a relentless coo itch at the back of his throat. "Okay, fine. I guess if you really want to... Wait, is that what you were doing last night? Buying a _bunny?_ Fuck, Harry I thought you were at a party!" he snapped with widened eyes.

Harry shrugged and settled Pat down on Louis' stomach.

Louis blinked down at Harry's new friend. "Erm."

"I had a mission, alright?" Harry explained, staring seriously at Louis as if this was a completely normal conversation for a couple to have. "You weren't gonna let me if I didn't sneak out."

Before he could protest, Louis noticed Pat scurrying around in circles on his stomach. He couldn't help but rest a hand over his back to calm him down, because well the poor thing looked agitated, okay? Louis wasn't some monster.

He gave the bunny a smiling pout before peering up at Harry, who was smirking incessantly.

"You love him," Harry declared proudly.

"Harry, it's a bloody animal. I don’t even -"

"You love him. You want to put him in a little hat and roll him around in a mini stroller, don't you? You want to eat his little feeties and sing him lullabies and-"

Louis pinched Harry's lips together with his fingers and leaned in so that their faces were inches away. "He's alright, Harry...okay?"

Grasping Louis' hand with his and lowering them down to the mattress, Harry responded with a shaking of his head and a "No, you're hurting his _feelings_." He gathered the furry blob into both hands before practically shoving its face against Louis'. "Look at him, Louis."

Louis looked at him. He looked at him and saw shit-covered cages and receipts for extra bags of lettuce and half-eaten carrots littering the floor.

"Ope, did you hear that? Pat just said he loves you," Harry chirped.

"No he didn't, babe."

"Louis, yes he did," Harry responded with a cold stare and a sober tone. "I literally just heard him say he loves you."

Louis lightly shoved Harry's hands away from his face, earning an indignant grunt from Harry and a faint tuttering noise from Pat.

"You broke his heart," Harry said, clutching the bunny tightly against his bare chest. Though he was too busy scowling at his boyfriend to notice at first, Harry eventually looked down at Pat to discover that he was nibbling at one of his nipples. "Oh my god," he gasped, looking down in awe.

Louis wiped over his entire face with his hand.

"I knew I would make a good mother," Harry beamed.

Louis took it upon himself to yank the hungry rabbit from the boy's hands and set it down on his lap, nowhere near his exposed pectorals.

"You have a penis, love," he reminded Harry. "It's pretty huge. Didn't think you would forget about it."

Harry looked as though he had just won a beauty pageant, giving Louis one of those furrow-browed smiles and a melodic "Awww, _babe_."

Louis grinned briefly before clearing his throat dramatically.

Harry snorted. "What, you want me to compliment your cock too?"

Shrugging his shoulders innocently, Louis looked back at his boyfriend and gave him a small nod.

With a mischievous smirk, Harry raised his eyebrows and replied with a sing-songy "Oh yeah?"

Louis rolled his eyes impatiently. "I mean, it's only polite," he huffed.

Harry looked back at Louis, then down at Pat, and then up at Louis again. "Kind of like it's _only polite_ to tell someone you love them if they say it to you?"

"Rabbits don't talk, Harry."

"How can you say that..." he began, looking off into the distance briefly before setting an unwavering glare directly on Louis. " _When we spent all of yesterday watching Winnie the Pooh?_ "  

Louis lowered his head. Though he may have been stubborn, he was no idiot. Louis knew that he had been defeated.

He let out a prolonged sigh before lifting Pat up to his face. "Okay okay, fair enough," he said, earning a delighted squeal from Harry.

When the bunny twitched his nose quickly back and forth, Louis did the same. He figured it was common courtesy for whatever reason (not like Louis had an extensive background in the field of bunny manners).

Harry breathed contently. "Alright so Pat, what do we say?"

"......"

"Good. Now Louis, what do we say back?"

Louis blinked slowly once before looking into Pat's chocolate brown eyes. "Pat," he began, making his best attempt to not burst out in uncomfortable laughter. "I love you too."

Harry clasped his hands together contently and gave a sparkly-eyed smile.

"Now Harry, _what do we say?_ " Louis mimicked, shoving the bunny into his boy's face.

Nearly cross-eyed from the close proximity with the animal, Harry tightened his lips and breathed in deeply. "Pat, my dear friend," he said seriously. "My boyfriend has a huge cock."

Louis snickered before Harry lowered the fluffy ball of mammal down onto the bed and leaned in to press a sloppy kiss to Louis' lips. Louis hummed into the kiss before pulling back slowly.

"I want tea," he whirred before kneeing his way to the edge of the bed and stepping down onto the floor. "I'll be right back," he chuckled while looking back at the four eyes watching him leave.

"See that, Pat ole pal?" he heard Harry whisper as he puttered down the stairs. "That is the best body you will ever lay your tiny little eyes on. You are so lucky to live here, little man."

 

Once Louis had reached the kitchen, he instantly felt the cold sensation of the tile rush up from his feet and through his spine. He figured he probably should have at least put on some slippers or something, but the tea would warm him up anyways, so he headed for the cupboard above the sink.

With a faint creak, the door swung open, and Louis began to rummage around for his favorite Powerpuff Girls mug (Okay, it just had Blossom on it, but that’s because she was the best Powerpuff Girl hands down, and Louis had always identified with her).

He saw the red handle stick out from the behind Harry’s Bubbles mug and reached back to grab a hold of it. After bringing it back down and setting it on the counter, Louis lowered his gaze to notice a fuzzy black lump sitting inside of it.

“Fuck _fuck_ , holy _shit,_ ” he cried, jumping a foot backwards and feeling his bare ass jiggle freely and shamelessly. “ _Harry fucking Styles. I am going to tear you apart_.”

He reluctantly leaned forward to peer into the mug once more to clarify that there was indeed a black bunny napping in his favorite mug. Raising a hand to his cheek, Louis spun around to walk towards the bottom of the stairs.

“ _I would love for you to tear me apart, just wait_ ,” he heard an amused voice call from the bedroom.

Along with Harry’s cheesy and inappropriate reply, Louis also heard a series of muffled shuffling noises and small giggles. Initially, he decided that Harry must have just been playing with Pat, but he could have sworn he heard a chorus of squeaks and scratches. That said, Louis took it upon himself to stomp back into the kitchen, grab his mug, and storm back upstairs.

After pivoting around the top of the banister, Louis faced the doorway to his and Harry’s room, and what he saw was probably the most unsettling, yet most adorable sight he’s ever encountered.

“Guys look! It’s your papa Louis,” Harry cheered to the dozen bunnies covering his naked body. Louis felt a heated scolding creep up his windpipe, but it dissolved once he made eye contact with his beaming boyfriend buried in oversized cotton balls. Absorbing the fluff-covered Harry Styles grinning away as if he was bathing in his lottery winnings, Louis felt the wrinkles in his forehead flatten and his tight frown ease into a neutral line.

“You lost one,” Louis said, stepping forward and depositing the black bunny onto their duvet.

“Oh my god, _Zayn_ ,” Harry cried, his eyebrows furrowing comically.

Louis whipped his body around to the door.

“No no, not _Zayn_ ,” Harry explained, cupping the little black puff into his palms and lifting it up to his face. “This one’s name is Zayn.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Louis plopped down onto the bed, careful not to crush any bunnies. Harry would probably break up with him on the spot if he did. “Why Zayn?” he asked through a yawn.

Harry pursed his lips together centimeters away from the bunny’s. “Because he’s dark and mysterious and sleeps all the time.”

Louis nodded. “Ah.” He looked back at Harry, who was laying blissfully with his head resting on his pillow with two bunnies kissing his bird tattoos. If Louis wasn’t mistaken, he was even biting down on his lips, eyes shut and cheeks pink. “Why do you look so horny, Harry?” he questioned, trying his best not to sound judgmental.

Harry popped one eye open, initially looking surprised at Louis’ question but then relaxing into a nonchalant shrug. “Because I’m naked.”

Louis scoffed before leaning back onto his own pillow. “Harry, you’re not a teenager anymore,” he snorted. “You’re not supposed to get turned on by being naked in a pile of _rabbits_.”

After a brief silence, Louis looked at Harry, who was intently observing a bunny burying its nose into his V-line.

“ _Harry_.”

Harry jerked his head up with wide eyes. “ _Sorry_ sorry, what?” he sputtered.

Louis gave him a look. “You’re weird,” he deadpanned, wrinkling his nose at his dopy-grinned boyfriend.

Nodding easily, Harry twisted his torso so that he was facing Louis full-on, causing a few bunnies to topple onto the mattress. “Come on, Louis. Neither of us are exactly _normal_ when we get in the bedroom.”

“I am normal in the bedroom.”

“Louis, you made me stick a bar of soap up your asshole when we showered yesterday morning.”

Louis started to choke on a leftover tuft of Pat hair in the back of his throat. After sputtering and coughing for a brief episode, Louis finally cleared his throat so he could tell Harry how ridiculous he was.

Harry waved him off as he got ready to speak. “Listen, I know it’s weird, but I’m really _really_ hornyandIjustwantyourlipsaroundmycockprettyprettypleaseanditwouldbeagoodexperienceforthebunniespleaseLouisIloveyousomuchwithacherryontop.”

Harry exhaled, cleared his throat, and removed a bunny from his crotch, all while maintaining that pristine girl-scout smile of his.

Louis sighed. “Fine.”

And in a matter of seconds, Harry was attacking his face, peppering wet kisses from his temple to his jaw, creating wet noises of suction with every kiss. Louis laughed while shouting a series of _okay_ ’s and _alright alright, harry_ ’s.

“Thanks, Lou,” he said lazily, his voice buzzing close against Louis’ ear.

After collecting his boyfriend in a deep, lingering kiss, Louis sat up on his knees and shuffled down towards Harry’s hips. Taking in the sight of the cluster of bunnies congregating around Harry’s cock hard against his stomach, Louis shook his head quickly and bent over. He only had to pick up one brown bunny before taking hold of Harry and giving him a few quick pumps. While his right hand was occupied with smearing precum over the stiff cock in its grasp, Louis used his left to hand Harry the rabbit.

“Thank you,” Harry said before kissing its head. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing,” he cooed in falsetto. “Oh Miranda, you are my favorite brown one I think. You look just like - _shit_ , oh fuck, Louis.”

Louis snickered around Harry’s length, pleased with the fact that he got Harry to use such profound language around his beloved children. By the time Harry had gathered another bunny in his hand, Louis had his lips around his shaft.

Moving up and down Harry’s cock, Louis took it upon himself to peer up at his boyfriend with lust-filled eyes, the way that always got Harry completely flustered. But when he looked up through his eyelashes, all Louis could see was Harry making two bunnies make out in front of his face.

“Babe,” Louis said, resting his lips on the tip shortly.

Harry raised the two bunnies above his head, revealing a perplexed expression. “Yes?”

Louis wanted to yell at him for being so weird but soon decided against it. After letting one more beat go by, Louis dropped his head down on Harry’s cock suddenly, taking in as much as he could in a brief second, only gagging slightly as the tip nudged the back of his throat.

Involuntarily and with a choked out groan, Harry instantly dropped the two bunnies onto the sheets, and his shoulders violently jerked up off the bed. “Oh my god, _babe_.”

“Mmhmmm,” Louis hummed around the throbbing dick in his mouth before clutching around the base. He met his lips with his thumb and index finger, bobbing up and down as Harry’s moans became more frequent.

The bunnies became agitated, trying to remain steady as Harry’s abs contracted with every jolt of arousal. “ _Mmmm_ , yeah,” he breathed, stroking all the furry bodies he could reach. “I’m gonna come, Lou. I’m gonna - _unnghh_ _fuck_.”

Louis slid his lips up so that he was sucking hard around Harry’s tip as he came. After feeling around for fur, he found Harry’s hipbone and rubbed hard circles into it as he took Harry’s cum down his throat. He rubbed more slowly and in larger circles as Harry’s breathing became more and more relaxed. His loud whimpers soon became soft pants, and Louis kept his mouth around him until they were steady breaths.

Letting out a loud exhale through his nose as he came up off of Harry’s dick, Louis sat up on his knees, his mouth shut tight with cum still accumulated on the inside.

“You gonna swallow for me, baby?” Harry breathed with a dark yet playful smirk.

Louis raised his eyebrows once before setting both hands down on either side of Harry’s hips. He crawled up the bed, only landing on one terrified bunny before parting his mouth slightly.

“No, Louis,” Harry warned through a chuckle. “Don’t do that. You’ll terrify them...and make them all sticky.”

With a teasing wink, Louis parted his mouth even more, allowing a single dribble of Harry’s cum to escape his lips and fall onto Harry’s butterfly tattoo, just missing a perky-eared gray rabbit. Before he could open his mouth any wider, Harry’s lips came crashing against Louis’.

Without thinking, Louis pressed his tongue roughly against Harry’s, pushing white, sticky liquid against it. It was a hot mixture of cum and tongue and saliva, and Louis couldn’t get enough. He ended up swallowing about half of the cum that had been exchanged between him and Harry by the time their lips parted.

“ _Shit_ ,” he huffed, panting with his forehead pressed against Harry’s. “That was so fucking hot, H.”

Harry kissed him once more, pulling away with a strand of saliva hanging between them. “You want me to get you off?” he asked, his eyes dazed and his cheeks a burning hot pink.

Louis’ eyes shifted back and forth from Harry’s eyes to his swollen lips until he noticed a ball of fuzz moving in his peripheral vision.

Looking down to where the pillow met the wrinkled sheets, Louis saw - and will probably never unsee - the Zayn bunny making love to a black and white, floppy-eared bunny.

With his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Harry’s gaze followed Louis’, and he instantly let out a jubilant gasp. “ _Zayn_ , you mack daddy, you.”  

Louis looked back up at Harry, who was observing the two rabbits with a fond grin plastered firmly upon his face. “Good form,” Louis offered with a nod.

Harry mirrored his nod, looking thoroughly impressed as if he taught them all they know about sex. “So uh... handjob?” he chirped, shifting his stare back to Louis with wide, expecting eyes.

Shutting his mouth tightly and eyeing the frisky bunnies in the corner of his vision, Louis shook his head slowly. “I think I’m good.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Your kudos and feedback are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Twitter: @ctmytown  
> Tumblr. http://larryscape.tumblr.com  
> Ask: ask.fm/larryscape
> 
> Stay tuned for my first big grand chaptered fic that takes place in NYC.
> 
> Random thanks to ally, lauren, morgan, lexi, and miranda


End file.
